I'm pretty ambivalent about same-sex marriage as a social issue. On the one hand, I feel the need to respect the conflict with religious principle that exists for many. On the other hand, I can imagine the feeling of marginalization and subordination that comes from deviating from deep social norms, However, if society deems marriage the ultimate expression of love, and two people want to utilize that expression to make a statement about their relationship, who am I to stand in the way?
All easy to intellectually rationalize. Unfortunately, watching two of the same sex express their feelings for each other physically still sends shivers down my backside and puts a little pit in my stomach. Don't know if it's my social conditioning or a biological reaction, but it tells me I still suffer from subconscious homophobia. So last nights same-sex wedding reception and celebration for the daughter of our close friends and former neighbors, the Hirts, brought things front and center for Bonnie and me.
Not only that, but I agreed to perform as Toastmaster for the evening, making me feel my participation was an advocacy role. No advocacy required. Listening to the stories of the two brides - their childhoods, how they came together, and the hopes for their future - sounded so ... well, familiar. Like any other wedding. The girl we watched grow up wrote and shared a poem to her partner that would have served well as vows for any wedding. The laughter and enthusiasm from the collection of friends and family would have made any wedding party a roaring success. To listen to the parents of these girls, especially the immigrant parents from the Philippines (a country with strong religious convictions), you could hear even stronger expressions of acceptance and support than many conventional receptions I've attended. Not long into the 90 minute program I felt myself having fun and feeling relaxed.
The two young brides (I'm still practicing that expression) both served in the Marines, both have productive jobs, and recently bought themselves a home. What more should we want, what more could they do to earn equal status to any citizen of this state and of this country, with all the benefits and burdens that citizenship brings with it - including the right to dedicate oneself to another individual? Even with that status, they still have significant hurdles to overcome in pursuit of happiness and prosperity. But if last night, and the stories that were told are any indication, they'll plow thought those hurdles with determination and obstinance, and blaze a trail to tolerance and acceptance.
All easy to intellectually rationalize. Unfortunately, watching two of the same sex express their feelings for each other physically still sends shivers down my backside and puts a little pit in my stomach. Don't know if it's my social conditioning or a biological reaction, but it tells me I still suffer from subconscious homophobia. So last nights same-sex wedding reception and celebration for the daughter of our close friends and former neighbors, the Hirts, brought things front and center for Bonnie and me.
Not only that, but I agreed to perform as Toastmaster for the evening, making me feel my participation was an advocacy role. No advocacy required. Listening to the stories of the two brides - their childhoods, how they came together, and the hopes for their future - sounded so ... well, familiar. Like any other wedding. The girl we watched grow up wrote and shared a poem to her partner that would have served well as vows for any wedding. The laughter and enthusiasm from the collection of friends and family would have made any wedding party a roaring success. To listen to the parents of these girls, especially the immigrant parents from the Philippines (a country with strong religious convictions), you could hear even stronger expressions of acceptance and support than many conventional receptions I've attended. Not long into the 90 minute program I felt myself having fun and feeling relaxed.
The two young brides (I'm still practicing that expression) both served in the Marines, both have productive jobs, and recently bought themselves a home. What more should we want, what more could they do to earn equal status to any citizen of this state and of this country, with all the benefits and burdens that citizenship brings with it - including the right to dedicate oneself to another individual? Even with that status, they still have significant hurdles to overcome in pursuit of happiness and prosperity. But if last night, and the stories that were told are any indication, they'll plow thought those hurdles with determination and obstinance, and blaze a trail to tolerance and acceptance.
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