Senioritis

I can feel it creeping up on my psyche. Shouting at the television news. Starting a letter to the editor in a fever, and discarding it before finishing the first paragraph, figuring it won't make any difference anyway. Starting a sentence  in the middle of a conversation and letting it dribble off before its finish, leaving my audience puzzled as to how it connected to anything. I've observed these phenomena before in others far older than me - at least they were far older then - and now it seems I may be catching up to them. Generations before mine have lamented how society is devolving, how the younger generations were not of the right stuff, how the country was going to hell in a hand basket, how values and morals were being tossed into the manure pit.

The world does seem to be getting a little darker to me, as though putting on smoke colored sun glasses to offset the glare.  The ghost-like specter of dread appears now and then, darting through the trees far down the path of life. Occasionally thoughts of the future migrate from curious anticipation to apprehension, mostly on the part of our children, who are just starting families in these disruptive times. Doubts filter in. Will they remain financially independent, or will the public tariff overwhelm their ability to prepare for expenses of the future, let alone erase those of the past? Will their kids maintain the same ethics and motives that foster ambition and motivate them to contribute to society.  Or will the corrosive effects of entitlement and entertainment keep them on their couches, fearful of failure or curiosity.

See, there I go again. Once retired, I'm finding almost too much time for contemplation, while at the same time seeking simplification in what is otherwise a highly complex variety of inputs and perspectives. The temptation is to follow those in politics and media, who focus on single frames of the movie rather than watching what comes before and after, boiling things down to simple answers that avoid understanding the question. The challenge is to resist that temptation, and to cause others to question and remain skeptical and analytical.

It will be a challenge to avoid senioritis. To stay optimistic, to stay engaged, and to keep peering around corners. A benefit of working was the bigger stage on which to influence others and create opportunity. It's important that I maintain the practice, now on the smaller stage occupied by new family members who will depend on good examples of critical thinking and respectful behavior.