What follows is a copy of another one of those notes back home. This one was written shortly after our move to Switzerland, on a day of infamy that we would experience from a distance. Discovering this in the pile of notes printed and left behind by my mother brought back those "where were you when..." memories. So in the interest of posterity, here it is:
From a Distance Saturday, September 15, 2001 1:51 PM
What other subject can there be but the disaster in New York and Washington. It can't help but occupy the majority of our thoughts. Even here, in the safety and relative insulation and safety of Switzerland, it becomes, directly or indirectly, the focus of all conversation and attention. It's interesting, the different levels and depths of reaction. I was returning to my office after a meeting when I opened the door to my secretary's office. She was talking with the assistant to Finance when they stopped and both stared at me, eyes glistening and mouths open. "What," I smiled? It was obvious something had happened, and I instinctively meet bad news with a smile (don't ask me why). I assumed they had just learned of misfortune on the part of an associate or relative. "It's awful," Iris said after a long pause.
"What," I repeated?
"I'm so sorry," Gabi, the Finance assistant said.
"Sorry for what," I asked, confused now. My mind started to turn to the possibility that one of my family had called in trouble or with bad news, when I was further confused by Iris' next comment.
"They got the New York Tower AND the Pentagon."
Then the two of them talked at the same time, trying to share what little Gabi had learned over the internet. I instructed them to find a conference room with a large television. They led me down to the newly refurbished, first floor multimedia conference room, where many employees had already congregated. The local Swiss station was rebroadcasting the CNN feed, but with German anchors translating the CNN correspondents. I wanted to shout to them to change it to CNN so I could understand the explanation, but knew a number of the forty or fifty folks standing, watching, mesmerized, did not speak English. The pictures, large and clear on the big screen of the projection T.V., represented the essence of the expression "unbelievable."
After ten minutes or so, when the local station took a break, the folks near the controls of the multimedia system recognized that I was in the room, and switched channels to find the English CNN version. That lasted about three minutes. I could see they really wanted to go back to the German commentators, and I signaled them to do so. With that, I returned to my office. Walking down the halls, people would meet my eyes with a look that seemed to ask and say, "did you know anyone in New York or at the Pentagon? We're so sorry." I found it difficult to maintain their gaze.
My office is on the corner of the fourth floor and is, in a way, representative of the country of Switzerland. I mean, to reach it you go through a very thick and heavy door that opens to my secretary's office which I call an anter-office because, until you're in it, you don't know there's another office behind it. The door to that office behind, my office, is even thicker and heavier. It opens rather easily, but you get the feel of a vault door, albeit with a rich wood look and feel. Both offices have heavy, dark-wood furniture, and both have windows that look over Lake Zurich and the mountains behind.
I said my office was a bit representative of the country because you can't help but feel insulated. Especially because Iris has the habit of leaving her door closed, and closing mine when I'm on the phone or in a meeting. Switzerland is almost like an Island in Europe -- historically and economically. My office is a bit like an island in the 3M building. Neither can succeed in the future that way.
On this occasion, however, I was glad for the privacy and solitude. I wanted to access some information without interruption. The only source I had was the internet but most of the sites from major news outlets were swamped and inaccessible. I called Bonnie and told her to turn on CNN, without telling her why, and to call me back with what she learned. I called her back after five minutes, unable to wait any longer. She was still absorbing all the details, but relayed enough to tell me I should just get home.
That feeling of isolation, of being remote from events when you feel like you should be there, has persisted through the week. Kent and Anne have both shared that feeling. Anne, writing in a paper requested of each of the students on the subject of their reaction in her class Wednesday, that she felt a little bit like a traitor. She thought she should be there, in her country, sharing the pain and the shock more directly. Kent was just plain angry. Deeply so, in my estimation. He, too, felt he should be there, doing something to contribute -- protecting or consoling someone. His feelings were accompanied by all the kinds of response emotions I can imagine infected youthful generations at all those times our nation was threatened. The desire to "sign up” to do their part is a response that seems to be most pronounced when foreign elements threaten their way of American life.
Tension is high within the family this week, something I can only attribute to the influence of these events and our reaction to them -- and to the feelings of somehow being limited in our access to information and to participation. CNN (the Clinton News Network -- we've noticed the extra camera time devoted to Bill when he's 'in the picture'} is virtually our only source of video news. The USA Today, which we subscribed to a couple of weeks ago, arrives erratically, and the internet seems too condensed. And it's really those video pictures that bring home the audacity, the enormity of what has occurred, in a way the print media cannot convey.
Outside of the family, I don't notice so much a congregation of U.S. expats as I do of local empathy. Europeans, perhaps for the first time in a long time, feel great empathy for America and, maybe by extension, for all things American. If that persists through the coming times of retribution and resolution of the terrorist threat, it could be a good outcome of a bad deal. The Swiss, and I'm sure all Europeans, are equally in shock and disbelief. And even though it happened in the U.S., and it's clear the action was motivated by anti-Americanism on the part of the terrorists, they feel threatened too. This action marks the beginning of a new Global war, not a uniquely American war. I think that thought is just starting to sink in.
As I said --- what else…what else can we talk or write about. We try to carry on business as usual -- because that's important, lest the terrorists fully achieve their aim but it's not easy. From a business standpoint, if our economic environment was uncertain before, it's absolutely unpredictable now. Flexibility and speed will be key, along with the proverbial "we only have to fear 'fear' itself."
The bright spot in this otherwise very dark time is the apparent patriotism and consolidation of spirit that seems to be taking place in America -- and beyond, for that matter. It seems possible our finest hour could be in front of us.
From Zurich, we hope...
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